Updated: Sep 22
Jeff speaks Jordan now
Very very quick moment when the feeds come back briefly...the HG's are still chatting in the LR...Jordan must have said something the others don't understand and Jeff says "they don't know what you mean"...Natalie says "I was like the live feeds?"...Jeff says "I speak Jordan now"...Chima and Natalie laugh...Jordan giggles and says "I doubt that"...
Feeds return with Jordan saying all the fights in the house will be censored with so much beeping...Jeff agrees...Chima says not the showtime stuff though...Jordan says no live, Julie will be asking them a bunch of questions...Natalie says maybe they will ask...Chima says she hopes Julie asks because she will go off on Russell...Natalie says she can't curse...Chima says she can say what she wants to say without cursing...Kevin says Julie won't ask her...Jeff laughs and says "hell no".
Chima laughs her loud evil laugh saying she will ask Julie if she can interject...Natalie says she can do that but she's banned for the season on questions, they're not asking her anything.
Jeff says they're going to blur her out from the live feeds ...Jeff says before they even start there will be a censor box over her...Natalie says they have the fish tank ready for her...Chima says (Julie will say) no singing, no swearing, no calling me a ho.
Jeff says (they'll say) "Chima please put your microphone in the Diary Room" OMG loud evil Chima laugh again
Then Chima says "please drop your microphone in the pool" 😳 😳
Jeff says "we'll eat the 4 grand, the fines are adding up" (umm nope! LOL)
Jordan is having deja vu
Natalie gets called into the DR...Jeff asks if they're asking everyone in there tonight?...Chima says probably not Jeff & Jordan...Michele who is being her usual contrary self says they will get called in too...Chima says "they're not going to call in Jeff & Jordan"...Michele says Jordan might be sitting to close to her (the 3 feet rule)...Michele says no one is getting any action tonight (wrong! 😏)...
Jordan asks if they've ever had a fight in BB history where they had to step in...Michele says there was a guy who was removed for putting a knife up to someone's throat...Jordan asks if there was a fight where they were on the ground punching each other?...the others aren't sure but Ronnie who is overhearing from the RR yells out that it's never happened.
Jordan & Jeff crack up laughing at Ronnie...Jordan asks why would a guy do that? (the knife thing)...Jeff says he has a couple of examples...Jordan yells out that Ronnie really knows his stuff...Ronnie says he told them, he's seen every season...they laugh...Jeff says Ronnie hears his voice everywhere...Jordan says Ronnie is like the guy version of the girl from American Pie that says "one time at band camp", he knows everything about BB.
Jordan says "ohh, I'm having deja vu"...Jeff says "you are? when the f**k did you ever experience something like this?"😂 They all laugh and Jeff walks away…
Quick JeJo recap btw major game talk
Jeff and Russell are outside, Jeff is in the hot tub...Jordan heads outside after talking some hardcore game with Michele in the GR...as soon as Jordan is there Russell starts explaining his side of the story regarding some conversations he's had with Michele and how Michele wants an all girls final, does Jordan have any questions? he'll tell her the truth...Jeff says there have been a lot of hot heads today, he wouldn't sweat it...Russell says he hasn't lied to them...
Jordan, goes to soak her feet in the hot tub, she asks if Jessie is really after her & Jeff?...Russell says he honestly doesn't know, he can't figure out who is lying, Michele or Chima? Michele finally admitted to Russell that she lied to him...Jordan who is undeterred by Russell's avoidance of the original question says "I thought you told me earlier that Jessie wanted to put me and Jeff on the block?"...Russell says it was between them or Kevin and Lydia.
Jordan says she talked to Chima about it, she told her that Russell told her and Chima denied it...Russell says Jordan has to realize that someone might say something but they're not putting it in context of the time they said it, everything changes from week to week and when thinking about who to put up they rank who needs to go, obviously Jeff and Jordan are on the list, they're on the "other team"...Russell says the whole thing blew up because of Michele's lies...Jordan asks if Russell and Ronnie are together?...Russell denies that too, he says when things blow up you only hear one side of the story, if they have any questions, just ask him, he advises them to be really careful of what they say to or hear from Michele, also to be careful of Chima because she has something personal against him now and Michele is now skating through.
Jeff pipes up saying he heard Michele went into the GR to ask if the others if they wanted a 4th vote for Ronnie to stay (the infamous Green Room lie lol)...Russell says yes and he explains what happened and tells JeJo to ask Jessie and Natalie...Jeff says Michele knew it had to be this week...Russell says it was 2 days ago...Russell says again that he hasn't lied to them at all...Russell goes on to say that he doesn't like Chima and there's no easy way to tell her that, she gets offended, she takes it to heart...Russell says they should ask Jessie and Natalie what happened...Russell walks inside...
So cute seeing how as soon as Russell was inside Jordan started game talking with her BFF Jeff ...Jordan says that Michele pulled her in the GR and told her all the stuff she's been wanting to tell them...Jordan says "God, I don't even know who to fricken believe Jeff"...
Jeff says "me either"...Jordan says she believes Michele...Jeff says "you do?"...Jordan says she really does because she thinks the fight tonight was fake...Jeff says "really? between who?"...Jordan says Russell and Chima...she says that when she went to go in the DR, she caught it, she mentioned it to Michele and she saw it too, when Chima walked by Russell, he gave her a mean look but he winked at her, she saw it, she caught it...Jeff questions it...Jordan says it was a real wink...Jordan also noticed Natalie was acting kinda weird and as Michele was telling her things, she was thinking the exact same things...
And cue Natalie coming outside to talk game...Jordan immediately stops talking, she greets Natalie with a hello...Jeff wants to know what Natalie's grin is all about?...Natalie says nothing, she asks what Russell said?...Jeff and Jordan say nothing...Jeff asks Natalie if Michele came up to her and asked if they needed a 4th vote in exchange for protection? Natalie lies and says yes she did and goes on to explain what happened (the Green Room incident strikes again :) )
Jeff asks if they would put him up?...Natalie says she wouldn't and neither would Jessie, she wouldn't lie ...Jeff says how does he know that?...Natalie insists they wouldn't...Jordan says they're trying to figure out what's up because they've heard they're going up next week...Natalie asks if it was Russell that said that?...Jordan and Jeff say different people...Natalie gives them her word that neither one of them will go up if she wins and she says Jessie always wants to talk to Jeff but what he never seems to get his point across to him (aka awkward never going to happen alliance LOL)
Jeff brings up that when they did talk about it (the alliance of 4) he thought they were cool and then Jordan went up on the block...Natalie says that Jessie was cool with Jeff but thought Jordan was coming after him so he didn't want to involve Jordan in the alliance (alliance of 4 vs 3 debate)...Jeff says they had team meetings w/o him when deciding who to put up that week...Natalie denies it saying they didn't have one, they didn't know who Jessie was putting up, she found out 2 seconds before he went into the DR that he was putting Jordan up...
Jeff asks "how about Casey"...Natalie says the plan all along was to backdoor Casey...they talk a little about how the whole Casey/Jessie thing went down, that Jessie knew Casey wasn't going after him but he was going after Natalie so in Jessie's mind, it was the same thing.
Jeff then asks what happened when the whole house wanted Ronnie go and he didn't go?...Natalie explains that Ronnie wasn't coming after Jessie or Natalie...Jeff says the whole house wanted him out...Natalie says is he playing the game for himself or what the whole house wants? Jessie did what was best for him and Natalie...Jeff says what about the whole house's decision?...Natalie says it's not the whole house's decision...Kevin walks outside and sits with his feet in the hot tub...game talk pretty much stops...Jeff says those were the only questions he had...Natalie says she's telling him straight up whether or not he wants to believe it...Jeff says "I gotcha"...at this point Michele has joined the group and talk really quiets down to random chatter...Jeff mutters under his breath "so many questions"....
JeJo noses banter
Kevin, Michele, Jeff & Jordan are outside on the couches...JeJo start drifting into their own little world as usual…
Jeff sighs and says "this place is so fu**ed, according to everyone I'm safe until the end"...Jordan turns toward Jeff...Jeff says "we're safe to the end, from everybody, nobody wants us out" /sarcasm...Jordan whispers that they'll talk later (since they couldn't get 5 minutes alone earlier)...Jeff goes to touch Jordan but hits her in the nose, he sits up saying sorry, he laughs and rubs her cheek :) Jordan oww's...
Jordan says "you know my nose is pointy and it hurts"...Jeff taps her nose and then touches his while looking at the window/mirror saying "I have a big nose"...Jordan & Jeff scrunch up their faces real cute at each other...they have a little staring moment...
Jordan breaks it up by saying "I feel like...I ate macaroni & cheese"...Jeff complains he has to stop eating...Jordan says she kind of wants to work out tonight, she's not going to be able to sleep...Jeff says he won't either and he wanted to go to bed at 9, he's smoking everything and he doesn't know what to believe or not...they get a little quiet and then banter a little until Lydia walks outside…
OMG They’re hot dawgs Jayeff banter
Lydia walks outside and joins the group...she's eating a cookie which prompts Kevin, who is on slop, to say that he knows what his first meal will be, a hot dog and a bowl of cereal...Jeff says he could go for a hot dog...Lydia agrees, do they want to make hot dogs?...Jordan says "yeah"...they laugh...Jeff says "you wanna just close the night off"...Jordan looks at Jeff saying "come on!"...Jeff says they're killing the guy (Kevin)...Kevin doesn't mind...Lydia says with onions and mustard...Jeff says relish...Jordan says ketchup...Kevin says cheese...Jordan says "let's do it guys!"...
Michele says pickles are so awesome (gah she's so irritating)...Jeff asks how are they going to make the hot dogs?...Jordan says in the microwave...Lydia says fry them...Jeff likes them burnt...Lydia says to cut little slices in them and pan fry...Jordan says that every night after going out downtown, she would stop at a hot dog stand...Lydia says they can put the buns to warm them...Jeff says "wrap them in turkey bacon" LOL...Lydia says "can we do this? can we get on this right now?"...Jeff says he thinks they might have to...Jordan agrees...
Kevin asks how much did Jeff eat today?...Jeff says "everything, the whole planet"...Lydia says "let's do this"...Jordan says "I'm down"...Jordan says she wears stretchy pants every day, she laughs...Jeff says he doesn't know if he should eat all that shit...Jordan says to not act like a girl and just do it...Jeff says what does she mean? he just ate everything...Kevin says Jeff is super skinny, he's physically fit...Jordan says "why, I know I told you, girls like guys with a little fat on them ok"...Lydia says they need to work on Jeff's butt...Jeff says "I do, I have no butt"...Kevin says he has nothing...Jeff says he used to have a booty but he doesn't like working out his legs anymore...Lydia says for him to just eat, then he'll get one...Jeff nuh-uh's...
Lydia says "I'm making hot dogs, who wants a hot dog?"...Jeff says "are they turkey dogs?"...Jordan in the funniest manner says "OMG they're hot dawgs Jayeff..they taste the same"😅...Jeff gives her a look to which Jordan giggles saying sorry...Kevin finds this amusing, he laughs...
Jeff points his finger in the air saying he doesn't want one now...Lydia says 2 hot dogs then, one for her & Jordan...Jordan says "Jeff wants a hot dog"...Jeff says he'll fu**ing whip it right over that fence...Jordan says "no you won't! you want one" Jeff looks at her no...Jordan says "yes you do, Jeff wants one"...Jeff says to bring it out there and he'll fu**ing punt it...Jordan says "Jeff, you want a hot dog"...Jeff says no...Jordan says "yes you do" and she slaps him playfully...
Kevin keeps smiling, unable to take his eyes off them...Jeff gives Jordan a look and says "you catch more bees with honey, is that how it goes?" (Not quite Jeff, something to do with flies, honey & vinegar) Jeff continues "instead of with your smart comments"...Jordan goes to hug Jeff saying she was just kidding...Jeff says "get outta here" and Jordan laughs reaching for Jeff saying "come on"...Jeff says "go make me a hot dog"...Jordan says "it's gonna be good too and you're gonna be jealous when I'm eating it"...Jeff says he's not, what if he smashes it in her face?...they giggle...talk turns to what they're going to do tomorrow…
Jeff wants some of Jordan/kitchen flirting
Jordan sits beside Jeff at the kitchen counter to eat her mac & cheese. Jordan offers some of her food to Jeff saying "want some?"...Jeff says "of you?" 😍 Jeff wants to kiss Jordan but just touches her face with his lips and says he ate some.
Jordan wants Jeff to eat some more...they start flirting...they have some laughs with Ronnie & Chima.
Jordan calls Ronnie out on him calling her dumb. Ronnie admits it and apologizes because he really doesn't think that. Jordan says it's ok, she gets called that a lot.
Jordan has gotten up and stands next to Jeff, they read the rule book...Jeff asks if she will scratch his back for 2 minutes tonight?...Jordan starts rubbing his shoulder, arm, she nods and says mmm, hmm.
Oh the irony!
Feeds come back with Ronnie asking Jordan if when he goes home and watches the live feeds will he see Jeff & Jordan making out?...Jeff says "no"...Jordan says no and then with emphasis says "no! my mom and them are watching, they don't wanna be seeing me kissing...some boy"
Interesting because the next night Jeff & Jordan would be making out with Ronnie right in the room...he didn't need live feeds to see that and yet he saw none of it!! LOL
Jeff realizes Jordan loves armpits
Jordan loves armpits...actually Jeff’s armpits...Jordan is brushing her teeth getting ready for bed in the BR and Jordan inspects his armpit seeing that he had cut them, just a brief moment...
Jeff says “Jordan, I can’t deal with you all of the time”
This, IMO was where Jeff could no longer take not being more intimate with Jordan, he needed to kiss her and her kiss him and mean it. She was driving him nuts!
Jeff & Jordan prepare for bed...they walk into the SS room, Jeff grabs a pillow and Jordan asks Jeff "where are you sleeping?"...Jeff says "with you, but then I'll probably end up coming in here" Jeff giggles...Jordan says "I know! you do that every night"...Jeff says "because you're so peaceful"...Jordan says "so you leave?"...Jeff says "whaddya mean so I leave, I don't want to wake you up"...they both go back in the RR, Jordan sits on the bed while Jeff keeps milling about. Jeff says he's going to clean house tomorrow (meaning he's not going to pig out so much & work out)...Jordan says she is too...feeds cut out briefly...
Jeff & Jordan finally get to laying down...they are stuffed from eating so much...Jordan tries to talk a bit of game with Michele but Jeff says it can wait until tomorrow...Jordan says she ate 3 cookies, 2 things of mac & cheese, a hot dog, chicken parmesan and soup...Jeff says he ate 3 slices of pizza, some cookies, mac & cheese, ice cream and more...Jeff says they will probably need to wheel in some king sized beds for them soon LOL
Jordan says she's going to put herself to go on slop, Jeff says America's going to vote the whole house on it...Ronnie is talking in the kitchen...Jordan says Ronnie never shuts up, Jeff says he runs on batteries, that guy, puts on the waterworks, yells and talks, oh my goodness.
They wonder if Ronnie is the wizard, knowing how fu**ed up this place is, he has to be. Jordan can't believe they didn't win the wizard...Jeff says he's pissed too, he hopes nobody knows yet. Michele says it's too late...Jeff says he wanted it so bad, Jordan too, she's mad...Michele whispers to them that Natalie thinks it's Jeff...Jeff says it's not him, everyone thinks it is but it's not...Jordan says shoot, if it was Jeff...Jeff finishes her thought saying "I'd be singing a different tune sista"...Jordan says she'd be doing cartwheels...Jeff & Jordan say that America hates them and that they probably came in last in voting..they joke around and laugh about that. Jordan rubs Jeff's belly and gets a little rough...Jeff asks her to be nice on his stomach, it's full, it's gonna pop.
Jordan tries to talk game with Michele again (GR incident) but Jeff isn't in the mood, he says it can wait for tomorrow, he's spent, for Jordan to talk about the wizard instead...Jordan agrees to talk about it tomorrow...Ronnie starts talking loud from the kitchen and Jeff says he wishes he had a voodoo doll. 😅
Around the 2:45am mark Jordan starts holding onto Jeff's arm and getting real touchy-feely...they talk about the music they want BB to play...Jeff says he had his negative day today but it's all positive vibes from now on, he's going to have a good day tomorrow (little did he know that he would get the wizard power the next day)...Jordan squeezes Jeff's arm real tight...Jeff says "right Jordan?"...Jordan says "always happy"...they joke around again about how they both came in last, it was a tie for him and Jordan...Jordan giggles...Jeff says he lost, it's over...they tell Michele they hope she's lying to them and she is the wizard...Michele tells them the same...Jeff covers them up with the sheet...Jordan cuddles into Jeff, more wizard talk...
Jordan tells Jeff while rubbing & squeezing that she likes squeezing him but Jeff doesn't quite hear her...back to more wizard talk...Jeff thinks it might be Ronnie...Jordan says it's because he's happy...Jeff says yeah, what else could f**k this thing up even more?...Jordan says "Ronnie"...Jeff says yeah that... Jordan takes off Jeff's glasses. :)
Jeff makes fun of how Ronnie was acting earlier when he was being all dramatic, he says he's like a theater actor...Jordan bangs her elbow on the cubby above the bed...Jeff asks if she's alright?...she's fine, Jordan sits up and they talk with Michele about choking people with a rope (?)...
Jordan says she can't get comfy...Jeff says him too, that's why he's all sprawled out like a sumo wrestler...Michele suggests they go in the double bed in the SS room...(they would the next night )
Jeff says he likes his situation, he falls asleep next to Jordan and then runs in the other room.
Jordan rubs his ear and calls him a butt for saying that...Jeff says what? she doesn't even know he's gone...Jordan says she knows, she wakes up and thinks "where's Jeff?" and he's gone...they sing and feeds cut out...
They still can't believe they're not the wizard...Jordan says she knows, she said her prayers at night...Jeff says he's serious, he thought they might get it, don't people feel bad for them? maybe they feel bad for themselves...they talk about the voting for the wizard...Jeff says maybe BB isn't telling them til last minute, decisions could be made last minute, that is his philosophy, it still leaves hope...for Jordo :)
At the 2:56 am mark Jordan tells Jeff to turn towards her...she starts rubbing his back and is right in his face...Jordan gets him to take off his tank top and he says "I love that you scratch my back though"...Jordan says she feels bad cuz he came in last place with the wizard, she's kidding...she keeps rubbing/scratching...Jordan giggles about something...Jeff asks if she farted? Jordan swears she didn't and she pulls Jeff closer to her...and Jeff says in a super sexy voice "what are you thinking of?...I don't even wanna know...do I?"
Jordan of course diffuses the sexual tension by saying no, she needs to work out tomorrow. ...Jeff says omg...he can't understand her mind, it just switches, he says "Jordan I can't deal with all of you all the time" 💙
They share more giggles...Jeff says he's trying to relax but he is smiling, she's making him laugh and he's trying to relax at the same time...they giggle more...Jordan has a gas pain in her chest, it passes...Jeff whines that his back scratch wasn't long enough, it was 30 seconds...Jordan says no it wasn't and she scratches a little more, then she blows farts on Jeff's chest...Jeff wants to relax with scratches...they laugh about what Ronnie is saying in the kitchen...Jordan makes fun of Jeff's face looking fat when he's laying on his side...Jordan pats Jeff and Jeff asks if it's over?
They laugh again about the Ronnie/Kevin confrontation from earlier in the night, Jeff says it was the best, he loved it...Jordan in British accent says "did it turn you on?"...Jeff says yeah...Michele mumbles "you weirdos"...they fumble around with their mics, Jordan is being goofy and nervous, hiding under the sheet...more movement trying to get comfy...Jordan asks if Jeff wants her to lay on the other end?...Jeff says no, he'll be gone soon...Jordan says "whatever"...Jeff says "shut up" while smiling...Jordan arghh's and the feeds cut out...
When they return Jordan is saying that when she realizes Jeff is gone, she splatters out...Jordan puts her mic away, turns away from Jeff and says goodnight Jeffrey...he says goodnight Jordan and then grunts (I think he was a little frustrated that she didn't kiss him goodnight LOL) Jordan says "what? turn this way"...Jeff turns towards her to spoon...they settle in and Jeff reaches over and kisses her face...Jeff then looks around wondering who just closed the door...Jordan doesn't know who it is, she tells him to try and go to sleep...Jeff turns to spoon Jordan again and gives her another kiss...they settle in...
@ the 3:32 am mark Jeff kisses Jordan gn (on the lips) and goes to the SS room to sleep.
Kitchen banter - Jordan needs cheering up
The feeds switch to Jeff and Jordan in the kitchen...they have both woken up late...Jordan is looking through the refrigerator and Jeff is eating tuna...Jordan finds some chicken...Jeff says "watch those eggs"...Jordan says she thought Jeff said "Russell said"...Jeff says oh man...Jordan says it's awkward (with Russell)...Jeff says he can take a day off from the pool...Jordan says it's foggy...Jeff says he's pretty tan, he can get tan tomorrow for Thursday...Jordan keeps looking in the refrigerator...
Jordan asks where the cottage cheese went?...Jeff says he ate it for breakfast, does she want him to get another one?...Jordan says no, wait, she says she's trying to figure out what to eat with the chicken...Jeff walks to the SR and says to make a little salad...Jordan says how about the mac & cheese?...Jeff doesn't think it's the best choice, does she want the cottage cheese?...Jordan says with the chicken?...Jeff farts loudly LOL Jordan giggles and asks to grab a salad bag too please...Jeff says "don't boss me" :)
Jordan warms up her chicken...Jeff comes back and says there was no salad...Jordan says she was already warming up her chicken, she turns off the microwave...Jeff asks if Jordan wants to clean the fridge out?...Jordan says no...Jeff asks if she's not in the mood?...Jordan, with attitude, says she cleans every day, she's laying out and Jeff can stay in...Jeff doesn't like her attitude...they bump into each other...Jeff says "watch out"...Jordan says for Jeff not to talk to her that way (?)...Jeff says she's already making him sick and she's been up for 5 minutes...Jordan says "I'm gonna stab you with this fork" 🤨 ...Jeff says to do it...
Jordan starts spooning out mac & cheese instead...Jeff says "eww, we were such fatties yesterday"...Jeff says it's 2 o'clock, what other option does he have but lay out? he just doesn't want to go out there and talk fu**ing game, he mumbles under his breath about what Russell will say to him...Jordan snarkily says "are you talking to yourself?"...Jeff gives Jordan a look and says "yeah"...Jeff eats his Triscuits & hummus...Jordan asks if the plate in the microwave will catch on fire?...Jeff says no...Jordan asks why is it popping then?...Jeff says mmm...
Jordan says "me and you need to talk...majorly"...Jeff says they can talk in their room...Jordan's not so sure...Jordan says her and Jeff were just sitting back and watching the whole thing (the fights the night before)...Jeff says "yeah"...they start whispering...Jeff asks what they need to talk about...Jordan says Michele and Natalie...Jeff says he's sure Michele would do that (GR lie) and then when they told them no, she came to them, that's what it was...Jordan says she knows the GR thing is true but will she keep Ronnie?...Jeff says "no"...Jordan says she has an idea in her head...Jeff says he doesn't trust Michele, Jordan does...Jordan says she's torn, she doesn't know who to believe...Jeff says she's getting too confident...Jordan says maybe she's the wizard?...Jeff says maybe, how about Natalie's speech yesterday saying they were safe when they were put on the block 3 times? apparently they are safe from the whole house...
Michele walks into the kitchen and they chit chat...Michele says they were sleeping a long time...Jeff says he said holy f**k when they told him it was 1:45, they got them up to do DR stuff at 8...Russell comes in from the outside...Jeff says he's going to throw away stuff from the fridge, enough is enough...Michele and Russell both leave...
Jeff starts to clean out the refrigerator...Jeff asks "how's your lunch pumpkin?" :) Jordan says good...Jeff holds up a cookie dough package and dramatically throws it out saying "there's a little bit of cookie dough left"...Jordan says "why'd you throw that away!?"...Jeff says "because there's half a piece in there, take it easy, there's a whole other fu**ing thing, crybaby, if you want to stuff your face with cookie dough" whoa! 😯
They have a little stare down...Jeff nods his head and says "yeah"...Jordan says "don't talk to me for the rest of the day"...Jeff says "fine" (like that is going to last!) 😄
Jeff keeps at it, he throws the full package of cookie dough on the counter in front of Jordan...they are quiet for a bit...Jeff can't handle the first minute of the rest of the day not talking so...Jeff tells Jordan he wants to tell her something but he forgot 😉 LOL
Jordan says she is in the mood that he was in yesterday...Jeff says that's bad...Jeff says they need to sit and evaluate everything, after she is done lunch...ok pumpkin pie? :) ...Jeff says she is not going to cheer up today?...Jordan says no...they start whispering about Michele again...Jeff says she thinks she's too smart...Jordan says something about a doctor and then Jeff starts saying something else but Jordan keeps looking down not paying attention...Jeff looks at her saying "ohh...I am going to leave you alone today but first we have to talk"...Jordan says she wants to be by herself...Jeff says he knows what she means but they'll talk later...Jordan says she wants to lay out though, is he?...Jeff says no, maybe later...Jeff keeps throwing stuff out...
Kevin passes through and asks why the chairs are all spread out...Jordan says Michele was cleaning...Jeff looks back and asks if she left them like that?...Jordan smiles and nods yes...Jeff shakes his head and says that he doesn't think he's out of his funk yet either...Jordan gets up and comes around near the refrigerator, she giggles saying that they probably look stupid on TV because they're trying to figure stuff out and can't...Jeff gives her a sweet hug...Jordan ewwws because Jeff smells like toona.
All is right in JeJo land again :) Jeff agrees that people are calling them stupid, they are giving people a chance since they said nice things even though they have been up 15 times...Jordan giggles and puts the chairs in place...she puts her dishes away saying she'll deal with them later...Jeff says they'll talk later, she should go relax...Jordan says she's going to sit out there but it's just awkward with Russell out there...Jeff says that's why he doesn't want to be out there...Jordan says it's weird...she goes outside…
Loving Jeff’s angry humor
Jeff, Kevin & Lydia are in the LR chatting...Kevin asks if Jeff ate the squid?...Jeff says he ate it once...Kevin says they should throw it away...Lydia says nobody wants it just like the cocktail weinies...Jeff says he threw them away...they thank him...Jeff says he left one package in case someone got bent out of shape and he could fire them at their head...Lydia laughs...Jeff rants about some cabbage thing that was in there that was fu**ing gross, it had spiderwebs on it, it was so moldy...Lydia said he should have used his wizard powers to poof it away...Jeff says he cleaned it all and washed the dishes, scumbags LOL
Lydia laughs saying that he gets these tiny happy fits of rage...Jeff says it's cuz shit is so filthy and dirty and no one cares, it drives him fu**ing crazy...Lydia says sorry...Jeff says it's all clean now, everyone settle down...Kevin says he likes his humor, Lydia too...Kevin says it's an angry humor...Lydia says it's happy fits of rage...Jeff giggles...they talk about the comedian George Carlin who was always angry but so funny...Lydia asks Jeff why he's smiling?
Jeff who has moved over says it's because he found a better spot...Chima joins them and they keep talking about George Carlin...Jeff asks if they ever heard of his "seven meanings of the word f**k?" (Jeff would know this LOL)...they know, Chima says her grandma liked him...Jeff says her grandma sounds awesome...Chima says she's cool, she's likes a lot of young people's stuff, she's not typical...Lydia says they should bring her to Vegas...Chima laughs and they talk a little more about grandma…
LR chat - Birthing, babies, Jeff’s one liners
Can I just say that all of them are SO misinformed about this topic during this convo, it makes me LOLOL
Talk turns to getting fat specifically after having babies...Chima thinks she will put some weight on which is good for her...Kevin asks how do you get rid of the excess skin?...Lydia says you hope to have good elasticity and use a lot of cocoa butter...Chima says some women get those unfortunate little that they can't get rid of, it hangs over...Lydia calls it the FUPA, do they know what that is?...Jeff says pupa?...Lydia corrects him, Jeff says he doesn't know...Lydia says it's the fat, upper, pussy...area
Chima and Jeff go ahhhh...Lydia says it happens to pregnant women...Chima says you can get it removed...Kevin says he would get a C-section if he was pregnant...Lydia says you don't get to choose, do you?...Chima says doctors prefer not to do them...Jeff says yeah...Kevin says he'd get a C-section/tummy tuck at the same time (umm 🤔 )...Jeff says if you get a C-section then you get a huge scar (LOL)...Chima says yeah you do, it's horizontal and really low...Jeff says "oh, it is? I thought it was vertical"...
Chima says it used to be...Lydia says do you want a scar or pushing through your...Kevin says "tight little tiny vagina"...Chima says it won't be tight anymore, it doesn't go back to what it was for sure...Jeff says really?...Lydia says you're pushing a human through it...Jeff says it's natural, every woman has done it through time, he doesn't know why the next woman thinks she can't do it...Chima says they're just being spoiled and don't want to...Jeff says "plus you have an epidural, you don't even know, so you're just like f**k it" <---it's not quite like that Jeff LOL
Chima says yeah but you have to get stitched up, it doesn't heal, it doesn't revert back...Jeff asks what needs to be stitched up? you gotta stitch up your puss? ...Chima explains that they have to do an episiotomy where they cut from your vagina down to your anus....Jeff freaks out saying "what!!??"...Kevin and Lydia say sometimes it rips (right!)...Jeff says "oh YAMAHAMA!"
Jeff says "what!? it rips!? oh! speak about the worst place to rip anything, oh f**k that, I would not even want to be pregnant"...Chima says with a C-section you don't have to deal with that but still...Jeff says he thought they just put an IV in you, like a shot in your spine...Chima says that's what the epidural is but the episiotomy is done to keep you from ripping or if you rip to cut the rest...Lydia laughs at how mortified Jeff is...Jeff says that's fu**ing bad, he wonders how come he never knew that, cuz it's so bad that nobody wants to talk about it...Lydia says most women go number 2...Jeff says "I heard that, big deal, if some woman had my baby I'd let her shit on me"...Jeff says he doesn't know about the ripping thing, he'd have to have a talk, thanks for the baby but things just aren't working out, he laughs and says he's just joking!
Talk turns to how hot it is outside...Jeff says he'll have his sun day tomorrow...they talk about the wizard...then they talk about how awkward it's going to be up in the HOH before the show...Jeff says they say that every week...Chima says all the HOH's lose their minds after Mondays...Jeff says he hasn't had that problem...Lydia says that's why a female needs to be HOH...Jeff says yeah there have been none, would they rip their? nevermind but the thought makes him cringe and he can take a lot of blood and stuff.
Jeff pinches himself "down there" and says he can't even handle that pain...Chima says a human head has to go through there...Chima says it's called the perineum...Jeff says he's calling someone a "perimeum" LOL, he's going to be haunted by that now, that's new knowledge for him, that's probably why dudes pass out during labor, they didn't know that either...Chima says they put a sheet up, she wants her husband on the other side...Jeff says some things are better left unseen...Lydia says no videotaping of the event, NONE and someone better have her blowdryer and makeup ready for her...Jeff says a lot of women worry about shaving their legs, he's heard that, they don't want hairy legs for the birth...Jordan comes into the LR and stands by Jeff...Jordan says something to Jeff, Jeff says he knows...Jeff slaps Jordan's leg...
Jeff says she looks tan...Jordan asks what they're doing?...they say talking about babies...Jeff says "perineums"...he asks isn't that what plants are?...Chima says that's perennials...they laugh, Jordan leaves...Jeff doesn't want to talk about it...Lydia says "just be happy you're a male"...Jeff says "I know man, I'm so happy I'm a guy, I don't even want any girl children...actually I'm getting a little old but I wanted 3 boys and then a girl so that the 3 boys could watch the girl so she's not a whore" LOL!
Chima cracks up laughing...Lydia says WHOA! that's a zing!...Chima says she's not a whore, she has 3 brothers but she's the oldest...Jeff says as long as you have some brothers to keep you grounded...Chima says it's just your parents instilling values in you, but that is a father's biggest concern...Jeff says that has to be terrible, if you find out everyone is just banging your daughter!? ugh, he'd rather rip his perineum ...Lydia says Jeff, you're a comedian...Chima says Jeff is going to be one of those dads standing at the door with a shotgun...Jeff says "oh, for sure, I'll put a tracking device under her skin"...Jeff says at the rate he's going, he's not even going to have kids so...Chima and Lydia protest...Jeff says alright, alright, take it easy! it was just a jab...Chima says he could be old, marry an 18yr old and have tons of babies...Jeff says "hell yeah"...Lydia says he can be a hot, older dad...Jeff says "that's what I'm talking about"...
Lydia doesn't understand how Natalie can know she wants to have babies already, she's so young...Jeff asks how old Lydia is?...Lydia says 24...Jeff says yeah, you have time because once you have kids your whole life changes, obviously...Chima says women are supposed to have babies as soon as they start their menstrual cycle, biologically that's what it's for...Jeff says women are having babies in their 40's...Chima says it gets harder as you get older...Jeff says it's dangerous?...Chima says it's harder plus your baby is more susceptible to Down Syndrome, etc. plus your eggs start running out ...Jeff says Chima should be a health teacher...Chima says yeah right...Lydia says men have an unlimited amount of baby batter...Jeff says "dude, my batter is built up...sorry"
They start talking about older men hooking up with younger women...Jeff says that Larry King could never get the girls he does if he wasn't Larry King, that's bullshit and women like that make him sick...Lydia says Jeff is angry...Chima says she's sure Jeff has no problems with the ladies, he can get hot girls, he's speaking like he's some bald, fat guy...Jeff says "not like that"...Chima says the great thing about Jeff is he doesn't need to be Larry King to pull that kind of chick...Jeff says "I don't want that kind of chick, I don't, I want like a simple, just a cool chick to hang out with, I don't like all that"...Kevin says "with like an accent?"
Jeff misunderstands and says "yeah, that's my favorite"...Chima says he likes Brazilian girls?...Jeff says he dated one...Lydia points out that Kevin was being funny...Chima gets that Kevin was talking about a southern accent...they laugh...Jeff says ohhhh, no, I usually like chicks with European accents because when they get pissed, they can't express themselves cuz they don't speak that good of English and you just think it's cute...Chima says she can speak English and when she's mad she can barely formulate a sentence...Jeff says he can't formulate one normally LOL...Jeff says "southern accent, Kevin, you clever dog"
Chima laughs and says "you guys are cute together, I know you guys don't like when we say that" ...talk turns to game...
JeJo LR chat
Jeff & Jordan chat in the LR. Jordan says it's cold...Jeff agrees...Jordan says she has to put on some pants...Jeff says "do it"...Jordan says she had so many sweatpants to bring but she couldn't because they said "pink" from Victoria's Secret...Jeff says he couldn't bring his Puma...Jordan says she bought her mom some Pumas...Jordan asks if Jeff is tired?...Jeff shrugs...Jordan says he's just blah?...Jeff says yeah...Jordan says "me too...sleepy"...Jeff says he's going to have to force himself to work out tonight, he says he needs to get back on track...Jordan says she needs to work out too.
Jeff says he ate cottage cheese with fruit this morning...Jordan realizes Jeff ate the cottage cheese...Jeff says he told her he ate it...Jordan thought Jeff said "someone" ate it...Jeff says it was so good with a peach, or a nectarine, whatever it was, he thought about her when he ate it...Jordan says "why?"...Jeff says he swears to God, he thought to himself "I think Jordan would like this" :) Jordan says "well thanks for including me"...
Jeff takes it the wrong way and says "well did you want me to wake you up at 8?"...Jordan says "no, you woke up at 8?"...Jeff says yeah...Jordan says she thought Jeff got in bed with her?...Jeff says he did after he went in the DR...Jordan says "what time was that?"...Jeff says 9...Jordan says "and then you got up?"...Jeff says he did because Jordan was cranky saying "get away from me"...Jordan giggles saying "no I wasn't"...Jeff laughs and says "you told me to f**k off"...Jordan says "I did not, I don't say that" :)
Jeff says that Jordan was uncomfortable so he left...again. Jordan says she slept til 1...Jeff says he slept til 1:45...Jordan says Jeff went back in his bed...Jeff says he hopes that will be his bed now (the SS room one)...Jordan says "yeah right, it won't be" (sure Jordan!) Jeff says he likes the dark room and that blanket...Jordan says then she will take his old bed (the RR one) Jeff looks sad hearing this LOL (oh how she would eat her words ;) )
Jordan laughs about how Jeff leaves being in bed with her...Jeff says he can sleep in that bed (SS room one) with her because then he can move around...Jordan says she kind of likes having her own space...Jeff says "me too"...Jordan laughs...Jeff says he gets tired and has to leave...Jordan agrees it's tight quarters
Puh puh puh please
Otherwise known as the Jejo standoff...
Jeff is laying down on the SS bed, Jordan is on the rafts and asks Jeff to come over to her, she needs to tell him something. Jeff says no, he does everything for her but this time he's not going to go over there...Jordan says puh puh puh please (pouty face), Jeff laughs but stands his ground. Jordan says he's going to let her float away on her raft...Jeff says to "play it out, play it out"
Tell Grandpa to grow up
After the "standoff" Jordan does eventually go to Jeff to whisper some game stuff…
but leaves to go back to her raft. Jeff tells her to come lay down with her but she says no. Jeff says he wants to make out. (what else is new, lol) Jordan says that they're not going to make out (wrong! & it would be in about 12 hours haha) Jordan says her grandpa would like omg! if she saw Jeff lean her over and kiss her on her way out the door...Jeff tells grandpa to grow up! They then bicker about him making her food and her lack of back scratching.
Jordan was peaceful
Jeff goes to wake up Jordan who has been sleeping for a long time...Jordan can't believe it's 8:30...Jeff says he wanted to wake her up earlier but she was so peaceful and he thought she might get mad at him if she did...Jordan says omg...Jeff reaches under the comforter and rubs Jordan's foot...
Jeff says that he had to wake her up or she was never going to go to sleep tonight, she was zonked out, she was out for hours..Jeff lays down next to Jordan and says "Johhrdan"...he says he had a good workout and make dinner, it was good, he put some away for her, just chicken but it's good. :) Jeff says she probably won't even eat it...Jordan says she will...he made PB&J for dinner and cottage cheese and cookie dough. :) Jordan says that's not believable.
Jordan tells Jeff she had the best dream...Jeff asks about what?...Jordan says she was on vacay with her fam but some people from the house were in her dreams...Jordan says they were packing, even Russell was in it, her parents were still together, they were going on a road trip to Tybee, near Savannah, it's a low key place, the beach...they start talking some game but Jeff goes out for a sec to see if anyone is overhearing and he sings "Reunited" by Peaches & Herb.🥰 (subconsciously maybe after their tense day, lol)
When Jeff comes back they talk game mostly about what was said outside by Chima regarding Jessie...at one point Jeff says Jordan's skin feels hot, she should put on the aloe vera, it will cool it off...feeds switch out and then return...Jeff and Jordan are not both laying down, they continue whispering game...Michele comes in and talk ceases...Jordan leaves to go eat…m
Jeff speaks Jordan now - Part 2
Jeff, Chima, Natalie, Jessie, Michele, Lydia & Ronnie are sitting around the dining table enjoying wine and beer. They discuss the first day in the BB house and their DR sessions. Lydia says they asked her a lot about Jordan's boobs. Ronnie pipes up and BB warns them not to talk about DR sessions. Jordan walks by, coming from the bedrooms and says "boobs!" Everyone laughs. Natalie asks her if she is going to work out. Jordan says she is because she has been eating bad. Chima thinks it's great she's working out. Jordan says she's trying to be like Michele because she's lost so much weight. BB tells Jordan to put on her microphone. She looks down, pats her chest and stomach, trying to find it and runs to the bathroom to grab it. Jeff giggles.
Natalie pipes up with "Did you hear Jeff speaks Jordan language now?" Jeff says "She makes me laugh." 😍 Chima says "Didn't you call it Jordanese?" Jeff says "No, but that would have been a better joke....I just say 'I speak Jordan'" They try to recall what Jordan said the night before that only he understood. Natalie says "She said 'I said something' (whatever it was) and Jeff said 'you mean this' (whatever it was) and she said 'you know what I mean'." (Basically Jordan said something and everyone was confused. Only Jeff knew what she was saying.) Jessie says Jeff is her translator.
Jessie says we gotta keep Jeff around or we're not ever going to be able to speak to Jordan.
Jordan is just oblivious
Jeff and Russell are playing pool...Jordan has finished working out and is in the hot tub...in her clothes :)
Jordan yells out that she misses going to the DR...they ignore her and she yells out "hello!? people!?"...Jeff says "why, Jordan, why Jordan?"...Russell says "it's my time!"...Jordan says she misses talking to them...Russell says they miss her too...Jordan says they haven't called her, they forgot about her, she's not that exciting anymore...Russell says they haven't forgotten they're just letting her think of some things to talk about.
Michele comes outside and Jordan yells "there she is!", her and Jeff ask her where she went?...Michele says she went inside to sober up because she was about to be a hot drunken hot mess...Jeff misses a shot, yells and throws his pool stick on the grass in frustration...Michele picks it up and hands it to Jeff...Jordan asks Jeff "Jeff can you get me a towel please?"...Jeff says "yes Jordan", he goes to the cabinet to get one and goes to hand it to Jordan...Jordan says "thanks Gooch, just leave it right there", he leaves it on the ground for her and goes back to the game.
Russell who has missed his shot says it's a good thing they're not playing for money...Jeff says "yeah where's Braden? he owes me $112" LOL Jeff hits his last shot and wins the game...Russell looks over at Jordan who is getting out and says "did she go in in her fu**ing t-shirt?"...Jeff says "dude, she always does that shit...she goes in her underwear"...Russell says "that's so funny, I love when she shaves her legs outside, I've never seen anyone do that til her"...Jeff says "dude, she's just oblivious, she doesn't care...it's good to be like that"...Russell says "oh f**k yeah, you just don't care about the world"...audio cuts to Jordan and Michele...